Today, divorce is a very common situation on all countries of the world. In America, nearly thirty percent of all marriages are finishing with divorce. All countries are allowing divorce except Philippines and Vatican City. In Philippines, Muslim woman have right to divorce but others don’t have this right. Today divorce is one of the most popular topics in sociology and sociology professors divided divorce type to some categories. Also divorce of celebrities is a very popular topic with the money they pay to their husband or wife. Governments, doctors and social organizations are working hard to decrease the number of divorces today. How many signs are there shows that the marriage is going through divorce?
It’s a way going through to divorce from marriage and most of the couples didn’t notice they are going through this way. Main attempt doctors and organizations are making is noticing couples that they are on the divorce way. Most of the couples warning on this situation are trying to save their marriage.
According to researches on divorced or divorcing couples, first idea of divorce falls to mind of couple when they start to see dreams about a life without their spouse. Especially women mostly see this type of dream in stressful marriages and marital strife moments. Then couples start to find themselves in fantasies about life after divorce. It’s a general sign that woman or man is unpleasant of his or her marriage and mind is trying to find a solution. Marital therapy on this period is very affective and solves the problems before divorce word comes to tongue.
After dream period, couples start to feel that problems on their marriage are weightier than their good moments. It’s the period that all couples must go to marital therapy because main feeding source of problems is inactivity. Especially not talking about problems and solving ways feed the problems. In this period, couples start to feel a more and more overweight on problems.
After weighting problems period, couples mostly find themselves while talking about problems but not in a deep and trying to find a solution situation. They realize that they are losing their hope for finding solution to problems and they are talking for nothing. It’s a general method that in marital therapy, doctors encourage couples to speak about their problems with talking each other. This marital therapy is successful to save most of the marriages.
After not trying to find a solution period, couples mostly notice that when they are talking to their wife or husband, they only speak or listen. They also realize that they build a dismissive and defensive talking strategy. If none of conflicts are resolving by talking and two sides are working hard on a defensive strategy, it means marriage is close to divorce.
After realize period and sides build a strong defensive strategy, a new period comes with people complaining that they are only side trying to solve problems. One side accuses other with not being interesting in marriage and their life. Discussions mostly finish with two sides get silence in same moment and mostly woman cry.
After this period, couples mostly start to sleep separate. They rarely make love and it mostly finishes with argue. Both sides claim that they are still on this marriage because they are trying to save their children from unwanted problems. Also if couple is living in a small community, they try to hide problems but it’s very rare that marriage stay in its way again after this period.